Friday, 31 May 2013


As moms we all start out with our children being attached to us at the womb. During the toddler years they appear to be attached to our hips, the tween years find our darlings up our asses and the during the teenage years we find their asses in our wallets! And yet through it all my only quest as a mother was to be able to pee in peace. 

Imagine my delight when by sheer accident I discovered a sure fire way to keep a toddler at bay whilst you go about your bathroom business! Unfortunately I didn't discover this until I was on my last toddler. It was close to Halloween and the tweenies were getting their costumes together and much to my horror and later, euphoria, #1 tweenie had decided to be a hideous monster, complete with a hideous mask. A hideous mask that sent his little brother screaming and running from the room.

It looked a lot like this.

 - And then I had my Oprah "A ha" moment! - 

That's right. A well placed Halloween mask outside the bathroom door will keep those pesky toddlers at bay and YOU will be allowed the luxury of peeing in peace! Now before all you perfectly perky lit'l mommy bloggers hit your speed dials to call in CPS, this technique is harmless unless you're raising your kids to be pussies, then you'll have years of therapy to pay for but that's on you, shoulda' toughened 'em up. And the best part? It works the first time! No more making a mad dash for the bathroom trying to get in before your toddler discovers you've left the room. No more barricading the bathroom door. After your toddler has discovered the hideous mask the first time all you have to do is mutter those 5 magic words, "I'm going to the bathroom." Your toddler will look at you like a deer caught in the headlights and stay put until you've had your moment of peeing in peace. 

As for the rest of your day, well.. There's always bedtime, right?

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