We all know people who treat their pets like their kids and there's nothing wrong with dressing them up,
And keeping them safe
But I treat my kids like pets. I clean up after them
and visit when they're they're locked up.
They often smell like shit, but hate baths.
They chew on furniture
And are kept on a short leash
They're wild beasts who want to play all the time, but always end up fighting because they don't know how to share.
I'm tired of trying to train them. I'll still get them their shots, but I'm leaving them outside to chase squirrels.